Girls and their pockets

A worthy rant. By Cody Hanson.

So. You’re efficient. You pride yourself on efficiency. You brush your teeth while swiping deodorant and buttering toast. Everything’s covered and things get done…on time. By god, you will NOT be late to an important function. Hell, you’ll do your best to avoid being late for a dentist appointment!

girl pockets

Nothing fits in the pockets! Why?

And because you are so efficient, you understand my occasional frustration with Girlpockets (one word, capitalized). Do you know what I’m talking about? They’re sewn into every pair of women’s jeans. They’re made to look real. But then, just when you think there’s some semblance of utility, you notice the singular car key jammed into the pocket like a slim jim in the door of subcompact. It’s here that you realize there is no possible way to fit any other useful item into that pocket. It’s done. Spent! The entire carrying capacity of those jeans comes to a grand total of two keys (or one key and three breath mints)(or some other combination of keys and mints, never to exceed two keys or six mints, respectively).

But please don’t misunderstand! This is not a rant against women in any way. My frustrations are solely focused on those teeny tiny little pockets which, when coupled with an enormous, non-partitioned handbag, make answering a cell phone, entering a home, or paying for milk an eight-to-twelve minute ordeal. Now I know it’s never good to recognize a problem without offering a solution, but I’m still working on that. There HAS to be a better way. And for that reason, I won’t give up! And you’ll be the first to know when I figure it out:)

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